Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” Psalms 126:5-6
I recently heard a preacher teach about Leah, the wife of Jacob in Genesis 29. Leah was not loved like Rachel, her younger, beautiful sister. Her father, Laban, tricked Jacob into marrying Leah. Jacob loved Rachel. He worked for Laban for her hand in marriage for a total of 14 years. She was his chosen love. Where does that leave Leah? The consolation prize?
I confess I often feel like Leah. I had never related to her story before. But now as a divorced, single mom I relate to her more than I would like to admit. The name Leah is of Hebrew origin. It means “delicate” or “weary.” While I don’t usually consider myself either of these, I do feel “weary” on a daily basis trying to balance my life, work, family, and relationships. I often feel “delicate” trying to measure up to expectations I have put on myself or from others. I know what it’s like to not be the chosen one in so many circumstances throughout my life. I have found myself asking God, “Do you see me? Do you see my heart ache?”
God knew Leah’s affliction of being unloved. God knew Leah. She turned to Him during her times of trial with faith and devotion. In Genesis 29:31, we see that God had compassion on Leah. “When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren.” God blessed Leah with 6 sons and 1 daughter. Having so many sons was a true blessing in those days. God blessed Leah richly. Genesis 29:16 says she had “weak” eyes but God had His eyes on her for her entire life.
I have been richly blessed as well. There are still some residual effects of the hardest time of my life. It has been almost 6 years but God has remained steadfast throughout all of it. I can look back and see God’s hand through it all. Even in times of disappointment and hurt, I know now God was protecting me. He has always protected me and I believe he always will. I still struggle with what the future holds for me. I think the hardest thing for me is to trust God’s timing in my life. I’ve always been a read the last page of the book kind of girl because I can’t stand the suspense. I want to know that everything will be ok. Once I know it will, I can enjoy the book so much more through the conflict and struggles. In real life I don’t have that option. I do hear God regularly and what he regularly says to me is “Be patient.” He does truly know me.
The Psalmist provides a great reminder of patience in Psalms 129:5-6. “Those who sow with tears will reap with the songs of Joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” God can bring good out of heart ache. He can bring beauty from ashes and pain.
While Leah didn’t feel the same love from Jacob that Rachel did, God saw her and blessed her. When her first three sons were born she thought for sure Jacob would love her more. When her fourth was born, she praised God instead. She named him Judah which means “praise.” This was the same Judah in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. Which means not only Jacob and Judah were direct ancestors of Christ, but so was Leah. God Saw Her. During her times of struggle and hurt could she have imagined being in the direct line of Jesus, God’s only Son? God’s plan was so good, in His perfect timing. God SAW Her. I believe with all of my heart that the same God that saw Leah sees me too. I look forward to the perfect plan he has for me. But oh, I must learn to trust his timing and not skip to the end of the book.
Beauty from Pain 