When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. ~ John 11: 33
The older I get the more I reflect on my life. I’ve recently realized one of the saddest things about getting older is looking back at the friends that have come and gone from my life. When I was in my 20s, I had a good friend I met at work. We talked constantly and had great times together. We were both young and married. She started having kids while my ex-husband and I waited to start our family. We grew apart and I haven’t spoken to her in about 30 years. I think about her though and wonder what happened to her. I had another friend, a best friend. We were friends for years, but my ex-husband did not like her. He though I was too good for her. I never agreed with him, but I did walk away from the friendship. I have regretted this over the years and even tried to find her a couple of years ago on social media, after my divorce. I didn’t find her.
Then there was my friend and confidant that knew everything about me. She walked with me through the hospital where we worked to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. She stood outside the bathroom stall waiting for me and stood by me as we waited for the purple line to appear to let me know my first born was on the way. She was the first to know, even before my ex-husband knew. But again, we grew apart.
But I have been richly blessed when it comes to friendships. When I moved to a small East Texas town God started putting friends in my life. Friends I would come to depend on during my darkest days of separation and divorce. I had my beloved book club that walked every step of the way with me. On any given day, there was a friend somewhere in the hospital I worked I could go visit for a pep talk when I needed it. I had my sister during this time. I can’t imagine going through my life without her. She was part of my “core.” I had 3 others in my “core.” I love them all but for various reasons, we are not as close. One is crazy busy with her family. One walked away from our friendship when I tried to open up to her about some of the feelings I was having. My heart still breaks over this. The other is not returning my texts. I am praying for her as she has been hit hard by life. I am forever grateful for them, and I hope we share that closeness again someday.
As previously mentioned, I have been richly blessed when it comes to friendships. God has placed new people in my life recently. Of course, I still have my book club friends. There are new friends I met at work as well as one that God brought back into my life. I have been reacquainted with cousins I call friends. There is my new group from my new church, called my Community Group. And, God has brought a new, special friend into my life and he is teaching me to love again.
God has put all of these, and many others not mentioned in my life at specific times. But the one steadfast friend is Jesus. He has always been there for me, even when I was not looking for him. I can look back at times in my life now and know he has been there all along. He’s my provider, my protector, my comforter, my counselor. He has been a best friend to all. I am reminded of the old hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” These are the words to the last stanza:
Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer
Early this morning, the Holy Spirit led me to the story of Lazarus in John 11. Jesus’s friend died. Mary and Martha were beside themselves with grief and wondering why Jesus had not been there to heal their brother. Jesus shared in their grief. Verse 13 says he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. He wept. He wept for and with his friends. I believe that Jesus was there weeping for me as well throughout difficult times in my life. He was there when my parent’s died, weeping with me. He was there when friendships ended, weeping with me. He was there with me through my divorce, weeping with me.
For those who don’t know how the story ends, verse 43 reads that Jesus called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” and HE DID. Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead. And he rose me from the dead, not literally but figuratively, when he died on the cross. He redeemed me. He loves me. He died for me.
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” (Verse 40) I see the glory of God every day in all things and especially through the people God has put into my life. I know friends will continue to come and go in my life, but Jesus will ALWAYS be with me.
Beauty from Pain 