July 15, 2021
I Trust God’s Plan
I called on your name, o Lord, from the depths of the pit; you heard my plea , “Do not close your ear to hear my cry for help!” You came near when I called on you; you said “Do not fear!”
Lamentations 3:55-57
“Beauty from Ashes,” or “Beauty from Pain” has been my mantra since my separation and divorce. One of the “Beauty” aspects is my new life of service to others. In my previous life, it would have never crossed my mind to paint a stranger’s house, help someone I don’t know move, or work in a garden for a school I am not connected with in any way. Yet this has become an important part of my life. I have met people I have come to know and love that I would not have met had I not divorced. I am not pro-divorce in any way shape or form, but I do recognize this is part of the beauty of my life now. God is putting new, special people in my life that helped me with my healing and now I can share my experience to help others heal.
This past weekend I stepped out of my comfort zone to volunteer at a camp for kids that have had people close to them die. Myself and 3 other “Big Buddies” spent the weekend with 7 precious 5th and 6th grade girls. The cabins were a bit primitive but air conditioned, which is vital in the Texas summer. The bunks were close together and many girls and buddies were sharing a minimal number of showers. There was very little sleep. But despite these minor inconveniences, it was an amazing weekend of new friendships, and helping those girls honor the people in their lives they had lost.
My new life of serving others sounds so pretty and wrapped up with a bow. But with all good stories there is a conflict. This conflict came right in the middle of the camp. When I turned my phone on late Saturday night, in came multiple hateful text messages and a tearful phone call. When it was time for me to go to my bunk bed I was distressed. So, I did what I always do when I am distressed, angry or worried now. I turned to scripture. I had brough a small Bible with me in my suitcase. It was not my study Bible that I have highlighted, marked pages, with notes in the margins. This was a Bible in a different version, ESV, I often use as a cross reference to my regular NIV Bible. It is not a Bible I have highlighted or have written notes in the margin. During my daily morning time with God, I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me to scripture that is directed to me, at that time, on that day. That night I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me to a page of comfort, or strength, or anything else to relieve the fear and worry I was feeling at that moment. I opened my Bible and turned to a page, just like I do each morning, and there was Lamentations 3:55-57. What a source of comfort! God was hearing me; he was near and said, “Do not fear!”. Even more remarkable was that this passage was highlighted. I guess I had highlighted it in the past for some reason, but it shown like a beacon to me that night. These were the same words Jeremiah spoke when he was in distress, possibly even being persecuted at the time. The key to Lamentations 3 is that there is hope among the grief…like beauty from pain. Jeremiah prayed for God’s protection just as did I that night. I slept knowing of God’s protection.
The next morning, everyone at camp was exhausted but so happy with how well things had gone that weekend. It was an amazing experience for everyone involved. We said goodbye to our girls, and each other, looking forward to returning next year. I drove away from the camp but was not as elated as I should have been. The conflict of the story was still lingering. I realized the conflict had a name. The name was… Satan. God had already told me he was near and to not fear but Satan is so good at hitting me where it hurts. Satan knows how to push my buttons. I think I am learning to take it as a compliment. My new life of service to others, facilitating Divorce Care and now writing this blog must be part of God’s beautiful plan for me. Satan sees me as a threat otherwise he would not be the conflict of my story. As hard as it may be at times, I need to remember that if Satan sends people or situations to distract me from my purpose and cause conflict, I must be headed in the right direction! Beauty from Ashes, Beauty from Pain. I know my life will have more pain, frustration, distraction, annoyance, and the list of life’s disturbances goes on. Paul wrote to the church in Corinth: “However it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ – the things God has prepared for those that love him;” 1 Corinthians 2:9. God has a plan for me, and I know it will be beautiful!
Beauty from Pain 